My story
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My story πΉ
Somewhere on my journey through life, I disconnected from myself. Through accumulated stress and hardship, I found myself in the deepest and darkest depression, with no sight and sign of the light. I dealt with daily existential dread like a heavy weight on my shoulder. For many years throughout my youth, I had neglected and numbed my body, my intuition, and it finally accumulated into health problems. I had a good full-time job, but no direction or a sense of fulfillment. I found myself in deep despair with no one to truly witness me β those are the moments when the veil is thin.
I see now that these periods of life β which most of us experience at some point β arenβt failures, but actually deep initiations. And it is often then that β if we choose to walk through the doorway β we undergo a metamorphosis into someone greater than we could have imagined: who we truly are.
Soul Retrieval
It was when I had little hope left in me, that the mushroom found me. I felt deep in my bones that this was an entity to approach with reverence and humility. So to the best I could, I created a safe space at home, and went on the journey.
In the next hours something miraculous happened: I cried deep, warm tears like I hadnβt in years. With every minute, I sank deeper and deeper into my essence, and I remembered again what it was like to be present like a child, and remembered who I truly am. Many life memories flashed before me, hard ones and cherished ones. I looked into the mirror and saw myself as an old, old woman, and felt a sense of trust and wonder again β an openness to life I was willing to nurture again, a willingness to grow old and wise one day.
And so it happened: the start of a long healing journey that brings me here today.
After this powerful experience, I spent the months after finally living again. Truly feeling the wind on my skin, the grass under my feet, and being in awe of the mystery we call life β and nature became my biggest healer. My entire life shifted, because something in me shifted.
When I moved to the Netherlands, I finally found community, and others to share this path with β which until then existed very quietly within me. I knew Iβd dedicate my life to giving back to the Plant Medicines β through protection, advocacy, education, and right relationship. I became involved in different projects and educated myself daily. For three years I chaired a non-profit (PSC) and we made education on psychedelics accessible through lectures, journal clubs, and community events. I got to meet researchers, therapists, psychonauts, and healers through this work and am eternally grateful for that. I got my degree in Clinical Psychology and studied the neuroscience of psychedelics with so much passion in my heart. All of this solidified the path for me, and though uncertain at times, I felt held in my allyship to the mushroom.
My exploration led me to Huautla de Jimenez, the birthplace of the Mexican curandera Maria Sabina, where I learnt about the Mazatec ways of working with los ninos santos, the sacred mushrooms. All these experiences have shaped my understanding of how healing works. And I am proud to have many lenses to support others on their unique journey.
I am now certified as a plant medicine integration practitioner and use the body as the guide in the sessions I offer - for the deepest and most embodied support.
βWhen we walk with the plants as our allies rather than as treatments. they become doorways for the natural intelligence of the body to repair itself.β
My Mission, Ethics and Values
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My Mission, Ethics and Values π
To be witness to this evolving field is an honor. It pushes the frontiers of sciences, research methodology, our understanding of human consciousness. And so it calls for much careful consideration. I ask myself:
How do we integrate the psychedelic experience, in society, in clinical application, in ourselves?
Where can western science and indigenous wisdom meet for the betterment of humanity?
And I bow in humility to this work and my role within it - aiming to walk with integrity and deep care as I offer my service.
"Plant medicines the neurotransmitters of the Gaian mind telling us to wake up." β Dennis McKenna
This work is as much personal as it is impersonal. At some point in the journey, we may realize that our personal healing is integrally interconnected with the healing of all of humanity, past, present, and future. We cannot rise leaving some behind. We live in urgent times, at the verge of climate collapse, political unrest, and generally, a society that seems to disconnect people from their bodies and the land. It is our birthright to feel joy, feel safe, and have a relationship to the land we inhabit. It is often through psychedelics that people connect to that again β their love for nature, a willingness to protect it. For some it is a return to what truly matters in life.
We owe this work with psychedelic medicines to indigenous people all around the world. They have safeguarded and preserved medicine traditions for up to centuries - and yet often arenβt meaningfully included in discourse. And often, excluded from clinical trials, and accessible and culturally informed forms of care.
If you are a BIPOC or disadvantaged individual, message me for a financial discount on my offerings. I want to make my work accessible. Let us figure it out.